PINKY COLLINS STARS IN WELL EARNED VICTORY.....BUT THEN GOES AWOL FROM POST-MATCH CELEBRATIONS WITH SEVERE PUSSY PROBLEMS!
Terling Villa progressed safely through to the next round of the Division Two League Cup running out 2-1 winners over last seasons cup winners, Valley Green.
The game was the usual tight and hard fought battle between arguably the divisions two best teams, who look on course to fight it out once again for the league title, but it was Villa who came out on top in this affair in what could have been a much higher scoreline.
Terling's front two of Woolfenden and Alliston were linking up extremely well early on and were creating several openings, with both Woolfenden and Alliston, as well as midfield maestro Scott "Perky" Collins, guilty of missing clear one on one opportunites in the early stages, although credit must go to the opposition goalkeeper for a fine stiring of saves.
On 25 minutes however, winger Steven Webb, still on planet Mars following his shock match winning goal last weekend vs Rayne, broke the offside trap and just as it looked as though lightening would strike twice, he got too excited too soon and slammed his shot against the crossbar, but fox in the box Alliston was on hand to tap in the rebound to give Villa the lead.
It should have been two moments later, Woolfenden again beating the offside trap, rounding the goalkeeper before squaring to his striker partner Alliston who saw his shot cleared off the line.
Valley never really threatened until the final stages of the first half, and on 43 minutes Striker Ben Palmer slotted past keeper Gavin Woolfenden to level the scoring on the stroke of half time.
HALF TIME
Terling kicked off for the second half and continued to press as they had done in the opening half, and minutes into the half striker Tristan Woolfenden was again clean through only for the onrushing goalkeeper to again deny the striker a goal.
The away side continued to create opportunities, with Webb, Collins, Woolfenden being denied as well as an open goal miss from Alliston when it would have seemed easier to score. Terling may well have felt that it just wasn't to be their day, but on 70 minutes, Scott Collins played Woolfenden through on goal for the striker to take one touch before slotting past the goalkeeper to give Villa a well deserved lead.
There were opportunities for Terling to kill the game off, but further chances went amiss, and it was a nervy final 5 minutes for the visitors as Valley searched for an equalizing goal to take the game to extra time, however it was Villa's day, and after 3 minutes of added time the referee Williams brought an end to the game, with Terling's travelling support going into ecstacy at their hero's victory.
Terling Villa manager Tristan Woolfenden was delighted with his teams performance, "it's been a great few weeks for us, we've had some real hard games and to be honest the fixtures have been rather unkind on us, but my boys keep on doing it time and time again, battling, scrapping, doing the dirty work and they'e reaping the rewards right now. It's been a fantastic start to the season and we've now got to kick on as we head towards the Christmas period and make sure we don't get complacent".
After the match, local press reporters gathered outside of The Picture Palace, Braintree, to catch a glimpe of the Villa stars as a number of leading players celebrated their win, but there was one notable absontee in Chris Collins. A spokesman for the club told local journalists "Chris was due to attend this low-key celebration with his team mates following the clubs fine victory over local rivals Valley Green. Unfortunately Chris was unable to attend due to a pissy pussy at his family home. His feline family member sadly urinated in Chris' washing basket, and Chis was forced to take the animal to the vets for further tests as to why it would do such a terrible deed. At one stage it did look as though Chris might make a late appearance, but the animal then decided to chunder on his brown suede shoes, which effectively made it certain that he would not make this club event."
One local reported managed to catch a word with left back Ben Agar-Hutton as he left in his BMW "yeah pinky is a bit of a pussy really. Back in my country, they would skin this animal and turn it into a delicacy for such terrible behaviour. I think the culture is a bit different round here though."
Outspoken Goalkeeper Gavin Woolfenden had this to say after several lager shandies "two weeks ago he earned the nickname Pinky, now he's going to be known as pussy! Mind you pinky pussy has a good ring to it don't you think?".
Midfielder Collins has so far declined to comment on the subject, but eye witnesses have been reported to have seen him vacating the local argos store with a replacement Linen basket.
Villa travel to Bocking FC next Sunday as they look to build on their impressive league position with another three points.
