Saturday afternoon and match day approaching.
Dan Oates is making up stories to tell the lads Sunday how well he played Saturday and the goals he scored. (All bullshit of course)
Mourinho has turned LVG this week, new phone app and new philosophy. With a better turnout expected this week I get the text Saturday night confirming that that there will be 15 there this week.
With one man over I took this as a hint that my services weren't needed this week. Not one to be defeated that easy I got out my skill star kick training aid. (Thats a football on a bit of string strapped to your waste for those that were not so fortunate as me last Christmas)
10 kick ups without hitting the floor and I thought to myself, im bossing it, I'm safe, it won't be me sitting this game out. I packed it away and went off to work a 12 hour night shift.
Match Day.
9.30 at the gallery and a good turn out of lads and already getting kitted up. This was my chance to impress LVG and with 2 cheeky megs on tevez and a back heel meg on burgerkamp I was buzzing.
Pre match team talk on the way and LVG's new diamond philosophy confusing the fuck out of everybody, out came his new formation app to show the team ÂΓΒwhat he actually means.
No colm meant 14 players and room for everybody to get a run out.
Dan field at left back, I thought my Megs had got tevez dropped, only to find out his took my place at centre half. All my tekkers was a waste of fucking time then as mason missed it all.
Nicky on the bench as expected and mason on a mission to piss dan off hands him the Lino flag.
Straight from kickoff we were on the front foot, and after only 5 minutes a big hoof from Micky landed straight to Eddie who took the goal well with a naughty lob over the keeper.
10 minutes in and new boy hash brown is on target, only to be denied by the hand of a defender.
Straight red, down to 10 men and now 2 nil down after a fine penalty from Eddie.
We should really of took advantage of the extra man but it never came. 20 minutes in and Micky decides to handle the ball outside the box, a yellow card for his error and no pocket money for 2 weeks to pay the fine. The only highlight from the rest of the half was eddies cum face. Running flat out, eyes closed and tongue out. Priceless, he looked a right cunt.
Halftime team talk and more philosophy bollox, the only change came from Ricky suggesting to move damo out on the wing and ash more central as that extra timber he was carrying was easy pickings for their wingers. Bit harsh I thought but we'll spotted ricky.
Second half on the way and the only forced change is Nicky as Lino as dan refuses to do it.
15 min in and ginger dan comes on, straight away he carrys on from where he left off last season.... 30yard screamers and still 30yards high. At least his consistent.
Ricky smith spotted the keeper off his line and goes for the lob, keeper makes a great fingertip save only for it to fall into the path of that goal poacher damo who unleases a left foot volley to make it 3 nil.
It not long after when LVG's philosophy fails and Weston howler leads to us conceding our first goal.
I've finally been given the call to warm up and the call for a substitution is made, he shouts Eddie to comes off and for.......... Hang on a minute, Nicky to come on. His fucking mugged me off again and donner makes sure I know about it by laughing his chubby tits off.
Eventually my turn comes with 15 to go and as soon as the ball goes out I'm coming on.
Ball goes out, no sub. Next ball he says.
Ball goes out again, no sub. Donners crying as I'm told next ball that goes out I promise.
Next ball the substitution is made and stena is replaced.
Not a lot happened after this apart from dan missing again and Nicky refusing to run for a ball I put on a plate for him.
3-1 winners and still top of the league.
Irthlingborough at home next week. New kit and team photo so need you looking your best.
