This historic season for the Clems started in Witham against Bridge Street Hearts. A 4-0 win got the champagne campaign under way and it was always going to be a case of how many more the high and mighty Clems could beat them by at the home of total football.
Dale, Chittock, Stammers, T Wright, Colman were the back five behind a midfield four of Joughin, J Wright, J Dale, Gothard with Geoff Horsefeild and Parks up front. A Strong looking bench including the charitable Scambled egg head Parkhurst, Terry Bigland's boy, The stunning Elisia Hawthorne's brother and club captain Ince who had lost the armband to Horsefield for an uncharacteristic late arrival.
The game started so badly for the Clems that the visiters looked in with a shout of a result early doors. After a look around at what was wrong, Dale spotted Joughin looking statuesque, not so fresh from Parky's couch, was as smashed as a Pete Samprass overhead volley and quickly gave the under achieving wideman an reprieve after just sechs minuten.
Boreham who were still fielding a few other intoxicant recovery patients, were struggling to take the proverbial bull by the horns until Rush stole in to break the deadlock on 20 minutes and the Clems were ahead perhaps undeservedley.
From then on the visiters were going to struggle with the sleepy Clems finaly waking from an alchohol induced coma, and looking for a Parky style breakfast and the Brigde Street back four had the Clems front line rubbing their hands together and licking their lips as the flood gates opened.
It wasn't long before the lead was doubled as Gothard picked out the exemplery Jay Dale on the edge of the area. Dale looked up unessesarily because no amount of well positioned goalkeepers would have stopped his unerring strike into the far corner of the onion bag. 2-0.
Halifax Town legend Horsefield had a brace by halftime after Parks cleverly flicked the Boreham owned ball into the path of the boyant striker. Rush hesitated not, and finished well to make sure of the points, meaning the second 45 was about goal difference.
Dale was keen to ensure that his troops pressed on and that they did. Within ten minutes of the restart his star striker, Rush, converted his brace to a trick after goodwork from frustrated front man Parks.
The next goal was embarrasingly easy as a deep Jay Dale ball fell to the feet of the unmarked natural goal scoring centre half Tom Wright who finished at the far post. With 25 minutes remaining, Parkhurst replaced Rush, who was clearly content with his mornings work and Gothard came back on for Troy the boy Hawthorne who had failed to make as much of an impact as his sister had on the assistant managers heart.
A moment to savour? ...Oh, go on then! £50 note, job done Jon Wright found himself mollesting the unwitting corner flag in an absolute frenzy of celebratory exhuberence with the midfield brush and everyone of his boys overcome with emulsion. After a quick freekick in the final third, Wright played a purposful one-two with Parks before posting the ball first class straight in to the far bottom corner for his first goal of the season. The Roger Millar celebrations that followed were clearly the actions of a man who had no idea of who or where he was and it leaves only Stammers and Chittock of the regulars to register on the score sheet this season.
One moment of magic was followed by another as moobed marksman Parkhurst showed that class is as permenant as the universe's expansion, as the largly expanded and expeneded foward noted the ball coming in his direction at pace at the far post. With the touch, technique and clinical asurance of a village class leg end, 'Parky' chipped the ball up in front of him with his lefty before burying a bulllet with his trusty right into the top corner beyond the demoralised Bridge Street keeper for 7-0.
Bigland replaced Chittock at fullback for the last 15, and was pretty much back to his formidable busy best. The colour coded Clem played a fine ball down the right towards Gothard who took it in his stride and the Muselini worshiping fascist dropped his shoulder, turned inside and smashed a clean winner in to the top bin from the edge of the area for a goal that his idol Di Canio would have been proud of making it a Dicky Di Camio for the wing wizzard extraodinaire.
The next came with 10 to go as Parkurst read that his new house mate Rich would miss the header completly as Ince's cross came in from the right. Parkhurst took a touch and nonchalontly passed the ball into the far bottom corner for nine nothing Derby! Surely the Gaffa will have the weight of his most senior players form on his mind over the next seven sleeps before semi final time next week after such a 20 minute master class.
Double figures was reached late on as 'Dicky' shot from the right side of the penalty area, the ball beat the keeper for the tenth and final time via a deflection, to equal the Clems record score having beaten Inter Postiffico & Bellmac Utd 10-0 at the Main Road Recreation Ground in the past two seasons.
Next week will be a very different game as second placed Premier division outfit, Bicknacre come to town for the league cup semi final. Let's make sure we are all in tip top condition for the game beacause we've only got one chance at this treble we're chasing. Manager Dale has imposed a strict 10 o'clock curfew next saturday night as he know's history is in the making if his foot soldiers want it enough. Let's make sure we achieve what we deserve and clean up the league cup next week!
