The historic centenery season of 2013 started with a solid 4-0 win last term and The Clems, donning their sexy new strip, went one better this year winning 5-0 at a canter.
A goal from super sub Daz Ince & a brace each for Rush and the gaffa, who's handed the gloves over to take a place in midfield, saw off last seasons Division 2 Champions Astech Warriers on a pleasant morning at the Recreation ground.
Dales selection headache was eased by some notable absentees including last seasons player of the year Gothard, & Most improved player Chittock, as well as the late arrival of club captain Ryan Ince who was stripped of the armband and demoted to the bench. There is growing speculation that one or two of the squad are facing sexual assault charges from the previous nights exploits, the victim remains anonymous at this stage, but Gaffa Dale certainly didn't seem pleased with breaking news and will be looking to start discplinary proceedures...as soon as he takes Reeces cock out of his mouth for five minutes!!
Having wiped the jizz off his chops Dale selected the team, with new big signing Ben Bryant in goal, the tried and tested back four of Jay Dale, Stammers (c), Tom Wright and Coleman behind Jon Wright and Ansell in midfield with Dale himself in an advanced role behind Rush up top. Parks and Chop Souey Loui Howe, also making his full home debut for the Clems playing outwide. That left a healthy looking bench of the Ince Brothers, Joughin, and Jordan McGrath who has also joined the Clementine barmy army during the summer.
It was clear that it had been a very heavy night for the majority of the 15 strong squad as Boreham started extremely slowly, and for fifteen minutes looked a shadow of the team who'd had so much success just 4 months ago. As is often the case however, the first goal was a settler, and it came with help of the Astech keeper who had an horrendous flap at a fairly tame 20 yarder from A Dale, and the ball bounced off him and into the bottom corner for 1-0 and the 2014 season was up and running.
The Clems were slowly waking from their coma now with Ansell and Wright dominating the midfield and the back line getting forward more due to their redundancy as defenders, such was the non exsistant threat from the opposition including a heavy looking Craig Vickers. Jay Dale was looking as assured as ever in his leftback role, and he played a beauty of a 40 yard ball over the top through to the determined looking Rush who simply Crashed the ball straight through the keeper who looked like he wanted to get out of harms way rather than attempting a save and it was two zip!
The thrid followed soon after and it was that man Rush again, starting this season as well as he finished the last, heading home like Horsefield himself from Colemans good delivery from the right. 3-0, game set & match Clems.
The Astechs keeper then made up for his early blunder keeping out Ansell's point blank effort with an unbelievable acrobatic stop, tipping the ball over the bar, and score remained at three going into the break. Despite the healthy lead the gaffa was less than impressed at half time and made it clear he wanted more from his team in the second period. The Ince brothers were brought on together replacing J Wright and Howe as the Clems continued to make the ball their own, clearly a class above the visiters who may well be in for a tough season at this level.
The Boreham fullbacks were still getting foward regularly, and Coleman burst into the box before hitting a scuffed shot when there were perhaps better options available to him, fortunately D Ince was on hand to finish off from 5 yards following the scramble that resulted from the keeper spilling the ball yet again, and it was 4 nothing!
McGrath was handed his debut with just under half hour to play and looked to get involved down the right hand side. Boreham were just cruising now, giving Astechs, one or two of whom were carrying a lot of weight, the absolute run around as the likes of Stammers, T Wright, Ansell, and R Ince knocked the ball around the park with confidence and ease. Joughin fancied the last 10 or 12 minutes and decided to replace the furious Rush who couldn't believe he was being replaced by his favourite cousin whilst on a hatrick, but replaced he was and he took his rightful place on flag duty for the closing stages.
With a little over five minutes to play, McGrath stole in down the right and cut the ball back towards Ince who was taken out with a clumsy challenge in the box. Penalty! What followed was definately the lowlight of an otherwise good mornings work for Dales boys as there was far too much discussion about who would take the resulting spot kick. With at least three players putting themselves foward including Ansell who had a 100% record from 12 yards last season, it was Parks who finally brushed his team mates asside and took the responsability. Unfortunately the unessesary debate may have added a little pressure to the situation, and Parks looking to get off the mark for the season, completley fluffed his effort wide of the post and the score remained 4 nil.
Only two mintutes later Boreham did have their fifth and final goal, as Joughin looking to play one over the top for Parks, ended up bouncing through to Dale who beat the defender for strength, and smashed the ball into the onion bag to complete the resounding victory for his team. The aggressive roar in celerbration from the manager was perhaps born out of a little frustration that his orange men had not turned their overwelming dominance into more goals and prbably double figures.
A 5-0 home win to start the season is always a good result though, and with news that title rivals, Maldon&Tiptree and Mayland played out a 1-1 draw, the Clems have marched to the very top of the Invitation league on day one and very much intend to stay there! No game next week, so the management team will be up to support the newly formed Clems reserves on a scouting mission for the next generation of talented footballers in the village as the Clems go marching on!
