It was a fine Sunday morning, slight wind, great temperature, the ambience of the gower Park theatre was a pleasure to see. Fresh off a 8-0 dumping against Parkers the week before The Oak needed to respond with a positive performance and pull a result out the bag! So there we was, a fully fit squad, everyone fighting for their chance to be in this week's match report it was just the response I was hoping for! You knew the players were up for it when returning Striker Joe Wilson helped put his first net up in Oak Road colours I knew he was fucking pumped up and ready to go! After recovering from shock the team got themselves motivated and ready for a performance which could have defined the next couple of weeks. A few returning names: shears, mcfadyen, Wilson x 2, Spencer and Atkinson. Oak had to be positive throughout the game with them stalwarts. I caught up with the fat cunts returning to the team (shears and mcfadyen) to see if they were ready for the fight and ask mcfadyen why the fuck he's got engaged. ‘her families minted its a FUT investment’. Just the response I wanted. Shears are you having a mcds? ‘no I smashed in 2 burger kings last night after my all inclusive holiday’ again just what I wanted to know the boys have kept themselves in check so we remain the heaviest back 3 in Sunday league history!
The game starts. After an edgy opening 10 minutes the first couple of chances in the game fell in favour of Oak. A new shape to the team but still same old result in missing chances which last season we was bagging. As the game grew so did the oak in confidence. A simple clearance was all that was needed but Drew Moran thought he'd turned into Ronaldinho with a quick shoulder to Aaron Tong who was surrounded in possession. The Oak lost the ball on the halfway and the Holmewood number 4 hit a delightful chip over keeper Rich Wallis who surprisingly was off his line which is hugely unlike him. 1-0 Holmewood.
The oak needed a response. They didn't need to wait to long as some great fight and tenacity from our new box to box midfielder Phil Wilson delightfully played in Gonorrhea Gary who succulently lobbed the on rushing goalkeeper to slide the ball into the net. 1-1 up the oak.
After some great work from Danny ‘Freddie Flintoft’ Whitfield who was leading Oak Roads new counter press style which was really benefitting Joe Wilson to gather space to play his game we starting to create some more chances just not able to gather that lead until half time. Some great saves from Wallis kept the oak level throughout the half. The new system which was held together in the core of Tong and Wilson was really starting to work well. Knappett was like a new man this week. He got on the ball and didn't shit himself for a change he drove at the defenders unlocking the defence at times with some neat passing. The oak eventually had a couple of chances from corners where the save of the game came from the opposing keeper. Atkinson takes the corner, it's got some air on it. The defence look terrified as it falls to the deadliest defender on the planet. Moran jumps, everyone's thinking Ronaldo v Juventus, Bale v Liverpool, surely not Moran v Holmewood? Out of nowhere this audacious over head kick is somehow flying towards the top corner. Everyone's in shock. ‘I was already wheeling away in celebration and about to retire, if Beau was here it would have gone in and he'd have missed it’ says Moran. The keeper has only flown from fucking nowhere and the tipped the cunting thing over the fucking bar how the fuck did he keep that out. Anyway back to reality we went to half time 1-1.
Second half came and the oak started like a house on fire. Again the counter press from Flintoft was working wonders as it set up a couple of chances for the oak which we just couldn't finish. Now I can't remember if Wilson scored the second or it Atkinson did. I'm going to go with Wilson. The ball fell to Wilson on the edge of the area and he only had one thing on his mind. ‘can't believe I put a fucking net up’. The anger was unleashed onto the Nike Tiempo 1.3 as it smothered into the bottom corner of the net (the one Joe didn't put up). I was stood right behind and thought fuck me thats a finish. 2-1 oak. Again the counter press was effective as the oak were moving forward in waves of attacks. We finally grabbed the third goal as some link up play between Spencer, the alive again cartwright set Wilson away down the left wing. A beautifully executed outside the boot cross fell the way of Atkinson and even he couldn't fucking miss that. 3-1. It almost felt too easy for oak road! I apologise now my Chinese has just turned up and my mind has focused elsewhere! The game then started to get a little scrappy for 5 minutes. Oak were soaking up pressure well and shaun key had to do well to keep tracking the pacey winger on the opposing team. A simple ball over the top which we couldn't deal with cos the striker was at least 2 yards offside was not given and there striker eventually slot the ball into the corner of the net after calls of ‘its going wide’ from Wallis. ‘no rich its fucking gone in’ said the sprinting shears as he looked like a broken man who's spent 10 days in tenerife. 3-2 oak.
The remainder of the game wasn't edgy. It was all oak. Fuck me we just couldn't put the ball in the back of the net! Chance after chance after chance! Just wasnt to be was it? A couple of half chances fell the way of Holmewood however the defence stood firm with a fully supportive midfield! Then a moment of madness from the Holmewood ‘Adam Mcfadyen’ who was sent on to… fuck knows why he came on he didn't know his left from his right that dickhead. He then decided to call the referee a fucking silly old bastard. I thought thats rich you're a lanky streak of piss whos wearing glasses to play football. The game eventually finished with the oak smashing in a 3-2 victory against Holmewood. Great result boys well done. So what's next?
We need to avenge our 8-0 drubbing with a strong performance against parkers away. Who will be fit? Who wants to be mentioned in the match report? Can James Wilson stop being paedo for one week and play? Only he knows.
I caught up with a couple of the lads after the game. Joe Wilson was ecstatic with victory. ‘I put a fucking net up I aren't taking one down’. Thats the Wilson I know! Gary you missed a few chances what's your thoughts? ‘I fucking scored 2 didn't I?’ alright gaz chill out. You're shot conversion rate was 2% for the game don't give me the big one pal just cos you can't do the magic Moran can in the box.
A great performance let's step up another gear next week!
Ratings Wallis - 7 ‘good saves, distribution could better’ Moran 8 ‘solid in defence, comfortable in possession, produced magic in attack’ Mcfadyen 7 ‘solid on return, cruyff turns galore, couple of errors not costly Shears 7 ‘lacked pace at times, worked hard for the team, more to come’ Knappett 7 ‘solid in possession, more composure, more to come’ Tong 7 ‘did a job, kept it simple, tenacity in tackles’ Wilson 9 ‘star man, great graft in the middle, winning lots of second balls to set up oaks waves of attacks’ Spencer 7 ‘great energy in the team, worked hard all game’ Flintoft 8.5 ‘fantastic counter press, held the ball well, more confidence in his shooting needed’ Atkinson 8 ‘bagged 2g good goals, could have been more’ Wilson 8 ‘put the first net up well, great performance in a little free role, look forward to seeing it more’
Subs Cartwright 6 ‘not on pitch long enough, worked for the team’ Shaun 7 ‘always an option, tracked his marker well’ Reed 6 ‘great cameo’ Watson 6 'nearly forget he came on'.
All the best boys. #UTFO
