It was 25 minutes before kick off when our new Club Secretary burst through the door with the kit. There was an eerie silence. Chris had declined the invitation to be included in the squad for the first league game of season 2013/14 away to Harold Wood. In over 25 years of Maidonian history this had never been known. There was an echo around the changing room," The Globe."
The kit bag was opened to shouts of "not the orange kit again, have we gone dutch." Manno & Belly were cowering in the corner. Bob shouted out " Oi you two get over here and help us get Cheesy into his shorts. With the effort of six players two shoe horns and a crowbar Cheesy was finally ready for action. "Well that's the warm up done" said Shaky.It was five minutes before kick off and we were still waiting for Ted and our new striker Jason Friend to arrive. "Shall I send them an email to chase them up said Bob." Oddsy made a quick decision, James you start and then come off when Ted arrives. James said "Off the bench on the bench from me to you from you to me." Some sort of Chuckle Brother's banter.
It was now 2pm the ref blew the whistle and the new season began. After some neat football and probing at their defence Cheesy was put through to the right of the penalty area, he smashed the ball towards what he thought was the goal unfortunately his shot was about twenty yards of target and heading for the tree behind the goal at the pace of an Exocet missile. The tree was shaking before the ball hit it and about 20 squirrels disappeared into the distance never to return. Harold Wood were trying to hit us on the break but Jason and Manno were resolute and determined to keep a clean sheet. Ted was put on for James after 25 minutes. Five minutes later he passed to Belly and from 25 yards out Belly swivelled on the ball dummied the defender and smashed the ball into the top left hand corner. All this was done without putting one hair out of place, that gel was well worth the money. What was it called again, American Pie! At last we had scored Maiden1 v Harold Wood 0.
We were now taking control of the game and in the 38th minute after some intricate play down the left the ball was crossed by Tim into the box and our player manager Oddsy accepted the tap in 2-0. Harold Wood were still trying to hit us on the break and nearly scored but for a fine save from Vinnie. We didn't have to wait long for the third though as in the 40th minute Teddy received the ball on the left hand side of the area and from an acute angle dispatched it into the top right hand corner, 3-0. It looked like we were coasting to victory until in the 44th minute a through ball over the top caught our defence out. Their striker Cooley placed the ball in the net, 3-1. Bang goes that clean sheet.
Half Time - Maidonians 3 v Harold Wood 1
Half time substitutions:Off – Oddsy, On - Jason B. Off - Paul On – James, Off - Cheesy On - Jason F.
The second half started much the same as the first, we were passing the ball around and had most of the possession but were unable to improve on the score. Then in the 67th minute we were awarded a corner. James picked up the ball looked up to see where the referee was and placed the ball so far outside the "D" that it was almost in the penalty area. He crossed the ball to the far post where Jason B. rose like a salmon and buried his header into the top corner, 4-1. As we waited for the re-start Oddsy called Ray over "your on for Shaky." Bob looked over flag in hand as usual and Oddsy told him "your on next ". Two minutes later a ball from James put Jason F. through on goal and he didn't disappoint as he placed the ball into the corner to make it 5-1. That was it the manager gave Bob the nod "your on". Bob was so excited that he entered the field of play for Belly and forgot to take off his special black lino shirt to derision's of laughter from the touch line.
Time was ticking away, then in the 88th minute Ted received the ball on the edge of the area, he looked up and lobbed the ball into the air giving it a bit of a left hand spin. Everyone stood still expecting a goal kick, but amazingly the ball nestled neatly into the left hand corner of the net 6-1. That was it, job done, the ref blew the whistle and we had emphatically won our first game of the season. Last thing to do was the warm down. As we walked back to the club house we could see the task in front of us. It was like looking at the back end of a Rhino. We got Cheesy's shorts on before the game now we've got to get them off.
