Sunday 1st September 2013 – Roath Park Recreational Fields. I witnessed a bloodbath today...
Match report by Howl Williams.
In the green corner: a seasoned, powerful middleweight hungry for a big win. In the white corner: a naïve featherweight who turned up for the wrong fight.
If Roath Park Rangers had a manager in their corner, you feel he might have thrown the towel in midway through the second half, so severe was the beating. Fortunately, the referee had a merciful heart (or a wedding to go to) and blew up 5 minutes short of the 90. A TKO for Cardiff County and the most convincing three points they might see all season.
The final score was 10 – 1 and it was every bit as one sided as the card suggests. Possibly more so in fact. I will get the necessary mentions of the opposition out of the way first and then take you through the County highlights.
I counted Roath’s chances on one hand with fingers to spare. With Karl Llewellyn and James Hewett finally starting a game together at centre back, Rangers’ toothless attack really stood no chance of making a dent. They did manage a sucker punch goal in the second half from a sloppy loss of possession on the edge of the centre circle, but all this did was further kick the hornets’ nest and ensure that they would concede a hatful more goals. And that really is all that is to be said about Roath Park Rangers’ involvement in this bout.
The Green Army was rampant today. On a pitch that didn’t even look fit for a dog walking competition, County managed some incredible passing, quick one touch football and composed, tactical dominance all over the park.
Within 5 minutes, it was perfectly obvious the way the match was going to end up. From Mikey George at the back to Frank Mortimer up top, County exuded the cocksure confidence that was missing from the first two games.
Once again, tenacious pressure and defending from the front is what provided the Greens with the majority of their chances. The first of which came from a 20th minute corner that Frankie whipped in for Jimi Hewett to nod home on the line. Chances are the ball was heading in regardless, but there’s no way the Captain was going to pass up the chance to score a second in three games, making him County’s top scorer for the season! For an hour or so anyway...
On 35 minutes, more hard work from County’s Scottish assist-generator gave Phil Williams the chance to bang in a trademark worldy to make it 2 – 0. After wrong footing a flailing defender, Frank Mortimer’s tidy back-heel put the ball just where Williams wanted it. A textbook top corner howitzer, and current goal of the season in this writer’s opinion.
Constant County pressure for the rest of the half took the sides into the break at 2 - 0.
Half-Time: Roath Park Rangers 0 - 2 Cardiff County
With only a single substitute available to Roath Rangers, I was worried that they might be in for a humiliation. No, wait, not worried... what’s the word I’m looking for? Thrilled. That’s it. I was thrilled that they were in for a good old-fashioned tonkin’. The goals came so quickly in the second half that I honestly struggled to keep up, with 4 of them coming in the first 12 minutes.
The first was the result of a dazzling run from towering centre midfielder Radislav KrstiÄ-TomiÄ, who looked like an oak tree with legs as he embarrassed an almost endless string of Roath players before putting the ball out to Phil Williams on the left who cut the ball back for Frank Mortimer to get the goal that his work-rate deserves every single game.
Five minutes in, and Roath make their only substitution as the players make their way back for the restart. County were also forced to make a substitution shortly thereafter; Rad’s tight hamstrings giving Chris Pengelly a chance to bag some goals.
He instantly obliged. Frank Mortimer, now playing back in midfield, played a through-ball for Chris Pengelly to run onto, and once he was inside the box, he powered it into the far corner. The sound of Rangers’ heads dropping could be heard from County’s home ground in Llanrummney, and any ideas of a comeback would have seemed laughable to even the most optimistic observer.
Pingu turned provider a few minutes later, working hard to win the ball on the right before putting in an inch-perfect cross onto the head of Tom Hulland who simply wasn’t going to miss. That’s 5 – 0 in case you’ve lost track.
Seconds later and Tim Jordan was breaking the lazy defensive line to get his name on the score sheet. Roath’s subbed player earned himself a comical red card, from the sidelines, for punching the ball out from behind the goal in a bizarre attempt to deny County their sixth. He must have left his invisibility cloak in his Harry Potter backpack at home.
I’ll be honest, I was still making voice notes about the last goal when this one went in, so I don’t even know who provided the assist. Probably Frankie though. Why wouldn’t it be?
Frank Mortimer definitely provided the next assist: A delicious cross to the back post where Chris Pengelly was only too happy to bag his second.
30 seconds later and Pengelly gets his hat-trick from the bench. Phil Williams' cross from the left landed square on Chris’ bonce giving the keeper no chance.
Phil Williams got his brace after 80 minutes when Tom Hulland, collecting the ball from a save of one of his own shots, selflessly put Williams through on the left of the penalty spot, and he coolly slid it into the bottom corner with his first touch. Nonchalant as you like.
The tenth and final goal followed shortly, Tom Hulland this time not requiring a second chance.
10 – 1 the final score. A massacre worthy of any third world dictator or 1920’s mobster.
Full-Time: Roath Park Rangers 1 - 10 Cardiff County
I don’t have the energy to record all the near misses that County chalked up in between the goals... but there is certainly time to mention two of the more spectacular misses! Chris Pengelly, who had been utterly lethal up to this point (scoring a hat-trick in less than 15 minutes) decided that 4 would just be greedy. So when more great work from Phil Williams down the left led to him pulling it back into Chris’ feet in the 6 yard box, rather than slotting it home, he opted for the more difficult option of putting it ten yards over the bar. Much to the delight of the record crowd of 11, whose ironic cheers echoed around Ninian Road.
Tom Hulland chose to avoid a hat-trick of his own with the last kick of the game, displaying an “Anything Pingu can do, I can do better” approach, disturbing the same air particles above the bar.
It’s also worth mentioning that Kris Gibbins had a superb performance at left back. Nothing got past him all day, and he also contributed to plenty of the attacking forays. It’s nice to know that when Chris Davies is absent, there is someone other than Phil Will who can impress in that position, as Williams is better deployed further up the flank.
Best display of the season by far for County, and an important 3 points to keep pace with the big boys of the league. Speaking of which, Plough Albion are the opponents next week, and we will all be hoping that today’s attack practice sets up the Green men for another impressive display in 7 days time. By all accounts, they are going to need it.
Goals: Hewett, Williams X 2, Mortimer, Pengelley X 3, Hulland X 2, Jordan.
Assists: Mortimer X a shit load.
Manager’s tactical rhymes:
When pressuring the opposition keeper in possession – “If Frankie’s up top, the Midfield must drop!”
And every other minute of the game – “We play it out wide, never inside!”
