With winter beginning to introduce herself and the evenings steadily growing cooler, Friday evening saw yet another full squad in attendance, all repping the Evil colours. At first glace, so were the opposition. Once Bourke had won the toss he set about setting us up down the better end of the pitch to please the footballing gods in order for us to exact our revenger on QUT Yellow.
The Evil lads came out firing, looking to assert dominance which came in the form of an early goal by way of Kyle setting up Bourke for a tidy finish.
Only minutes after QUT showed their fighting spirit with a sustained attack on the Evil goal through a number of corners. The first saw Torren’s right hand appear from nowhere to claw the ball back and keep the score at 1-0. Another corner. Clearance. Another corner, another clearance. A fourth corner and QUT should have been level but for a second astounding save from Torren.
An action packed first 10 minutes soon died down with QUT flashing a shot wide from a severely undermanned counter followed by an Evil corner resulting in a half-assed diving header from Bourke.
It quickly became clear that this game, Lloyd had eyes for goal like Chris has eyes for a burger, with a couple of driven attempts just off target.
As a result of rigorous diving-header training under the tutelage of Bourke earlier in the season, Steve showed as much commitment as Adgeo shows to total football to a cross swung in by someone, maybe Kyle?. Turns out I didn’t write down whether he connected or not but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and points for the dive.
This fired up the lads even more with Ham firing in a driven half-volley from well outside the box which nestled neatly in the bottom right corner to make it 2-0. This was likely not the only long drive Nathan had that night after bailing on his missus’ Birthday dinner. An admirable show of solidarity.
At this point it’s pertinent to ask the question: “Steve, what exactly did you do to the ref’s missus?”. Talk about not being able to buy a free kick.
QUT attempted to retaliate a few minutes later with a toothless long range effort. This was by no means indicative of a momentum shift as Mike completely bamboozled their right winger only to turn and rek him again, setting up a vintage total football switch of play.
At this point after sustained pressure QUT had had enough. One of their players left the field (presumably “injured”). This put them down to 10 men due to their lack of subs. Some people on the sideline’s butts clenched as sometimes 10 men can put 5 past you in the final game of the season, making you look pretty average.
Lloyd finally got his chance and let fly an absolute thunder-bastard which nearly shattered the crossbar from inside the 18.
With half time approaching quickly, Torren ‘Neuer’ Wood showed he was still on the pitch with a cheeky bit of play out to Tosh who continued the movement, retaining possession.
Half time. 2-0 up against 10 men. This was our game for the taking. What better way to lock this in than with an inspirational half time speech from the coach. This week we weren’t switching to a 4-4-2. This week we were enlightened as to the plight of the free man. The free man who shall exist without question. The free man who sacrifices himself for the freedom of others. It was time to embody total football through the free man. (I think that was the gist of it, truth be told I kind of zoned out a bit).
The second half started with Chris exploring what would happen if you have 11 men, the opposition has 10 men and you beat a man down the wing with a chip and chase. Sadly, this question remains unanswered.
(In hindsight I’m pretty sure the injured fella came back on and took over goal keeping duties. Bit hard to tell though, they played the rest of the game as if they fielded only 10)
This was not the only time the right side saw some unseemly play as Hicko got shamelessly megged, leaving Neuer to get down smartly to his left and the ever-present Tosh to clear the ball off the line.
15 minutes in and Evil were still pushing, unsatisfied with the current result. Lloyd showed… fighting spirit? And picked up a cheeky yellow. Seemingly these don’t count if you’re not facing the ref though he was eventually informed by those on the sideline and was less than pleased. Mate. If looks could kill.
Not long after, Toby got every bit of a cracking volley, only to be denied by the goal keeper who knew nothing about it.
Still looking for his first goal in the game, Chris tried a low shot from outside the box which deflected into the path of a spritely Johnny on the spot who tucked away a close range finish into the top of the net. 3-0 Evil.
“I missed it!”- Hickson. Not much needs to be said about this except perhaps leave the in-game commentary to those on the sideline. We know you missed the ball mate.
You know who didn’t miss? (not all game obviously). Chris, who put away a clinical bottom corner finish on the back of Ham’s selfless layoff following an Iniesta-esque dribble through three players. 4-0. Not satisfied with one, a quick bit of interplay with Toby (nothing suss) off a short corner saw Chris fire a f***ing rocket into the bottom corner across goal. 5-0.
The class didn’t stop there with Lloyd threading a 40m defence splitting through ball through to Toby who could only squeeze the finish wide. Only moments later though, Toby got on the end of a Chris assist to poach a classy finish. 6-0.
Tosh got a ridiculous yellow. It was bullshit. Forget this.
Having shown great composure all game, Mike finally found some space in front of goal and hit a curling, dipping shot over the keeper with Steve to thank for the assist. 7-0.
With only minutes to go, Evil were awarded a penalty. I didn’t see it and didn’t bother to ask what happened as the cry of “Hicko” rang out across the pitch. What followed would either knock the keeper out cold, break a window in the house behind the field or put Evil up 8-0. Boom. Goal.
That’s about it lads. A solid 8-0 win, our biggest at Lutwyche and a clean sheet to go with it. If you weren’t mentioned in the write up, fear not, there wasn’t a poor performance to be seen. It was a convincing display with the back line operating effectively, great link up play and possession up the field, a substantial improvement in finishing and everyone working tirelessly.
Special mention to Ollie for coming down to support even with his busted thumb.
Trample the weak. Hurdle the dead.
Dag.
