The Hulme boys rocked up on a blistery day, the captain captain urgently trying to find a pen, luckily we were playing geography and they were able to lend me one of their colouring crayons. Everyone was ready to kick off but 3 nob heads decided they weren't ready for the game yet and wanted to individually wish every other team good luck before we started. We kicked off, and straight away the wankers in green used their knowledge of the contour lines of the pitch to bang in an early goal. Matt Chan was furious with his team in front of him, the defence shit their kegs, everyone thought he was guna kick off. Definitely a black belt that kid, dont mess!
Now switched on everyone started to shake off their hangovers and we started to play our football, Arun in inspiration of last week managed to win us a penalty. The skipper stepped up and 'calmly' slotted the ball home sending the UNIT of a keeper the wrong way. With the score 1-1 the puple army played the ball about the pitch holding on till the break.
With some managerial genius from the gaffer/boss/coach/captain fantastic/leader/president/ruler we changed to a 4-3-3 formation, matt davies making way for Rory. It had instant effect, Jb released from his centre back shackles was a man possesed, and sent one into the bin, the keeper having no chance after the amount of pies he scoffed at half time, fat shite. We were playing the geography wankers off the pitch, the extensive colourful tactical drawings they had mapped out at half time had proved to be useless. It wasn't long until some brave work from Arun, seeing him head the ball when the defender had blatantly lined up a jackie chan style roundhouse kick for his head and he played in Alex Ford to bang in his first goal for Hulme.
On a role we won a freekick which the leader of the wolfpack sent perfectly to the back post giving Scott the biggest sitter of a header he'll ever have in his life, but he thought nah this is too easy and felt harsh on the boys sponsored by crayola and purposefully sent it wide. If anything it took more skill to miss, well in mate. Another lad feeling sorry for them, was dom and decides he wants to get on the scoresheet, and bangs into his own goal one of the best finishes I have ever seen, definitely going to be a contender for goal of the seaon that one, Matt Chan was left with no chance.
With the score 3-2 the lanky pricks started trying to take advantage of our lack of height on set plays, a few clearances of the line saw Jb break free, and score a cracking solo effort from an angle that the countdown fitty Rachelt Riley would have stuggled to believe even exists. This saw the game put to bed, there was no map in the world the twats could have studied that would have been able to navigate them to a win now.
Special mention to the ref who recently stopped wearing nappies, the inexperienced baby calling a perfectly good goal from Alex ball offside. Go back to nursery you bellend
