Call me a bad loser, but I can't be ar... to write a report this week as we lost. It appears I have writers block and need to go away to a log cabin in the hills to get the creative juices flowing.
To briefly summarise, we knew the opposition would be out for revenge and to prove that last week's thrashing was a fluke. No disrespect to anyone, but due to injuries, we fielded a slightly weakened side with the spectators area looking like the Who's Who Of Cringleford Vets Elite. Afterall the last thing we needed was to progress to the next round of some Mickey Mouse Cup that can only be likened to the Johnstone's Paint Southern Half Of The Lower Echelon Trophy.
We experienced our first ever appointed ref and wasn't that a joy to behold. He was older than Mick and Dave's combined ages, insisted on inspecting everybody's boots, jewellery and Nick Skipper's anus for concealed drugs and in addition he ran as if he had shat himself! I hope the Norfolk FA don't read this, as I gave him 8 out of 10 on the Report Card to avoid having to file a complaint in triplicate.
Despite the reshuffle Cringleford looked lively in the early exchanges but never really troubled the Hellesdon keeper. Cringleford were forced in to an early change when Dylan pulled up injured. On came Ian Nunney and Masoud switched into the middle.
With Mark and Phil pushing forward on a corner Hellesdon drew first blood with a breakaway goal, their pacey forward outrunning Steve in a foot race and slotting the ball past the keeper. Not very often you see the words Steve, pacey and race in the same sentence!
Cringleford were spurred into action and continued to press as they always do when they go a goal down. Cringleford had several corners but failed to convert any. It was late in the first half when out of nothing and with his back to goal, Richard turned his man and curled the ball beyond the keeper to equalise.
The game turned around all square and with no subs Cringleford could not make any changes. Cringleford weren't the only ones who were suffering, Hellesdon had walking wounded and no subs and when Sven "the lanky bloke who went upfront at the start of the second half" limped off Cringleford knew they were in trouble playing against ten men! It didn't take long for the voodoo to strike as a through ball cut the defence in two and despite suspicions of off-side Mike Pyne kept the flag down leaving the centre-forward to beat Alan and score. Next time Mike won't have a flag to keep down or put up, as someone will have shoved it somewhere!
There was still plenty of time left in the game, in fact about enough time for everyone to disgree on what tactics to employ when 2-1 down and against ten man, about enough time for Phil's now obligatory miss from six yards, about enough time for the opposition to prove that they were still dangerous forcing a great save from Alan, about enough time for the crowd to start to drift away, about enough time for their keeper to win MOTM, about enough time for Massoud to send the ref tumbling, but not enough time for Cringleford to get the equaliser! And so the game ended 2-1 to Hellesdon.
Let's move on and look forward to our encounter with Premier Divison Poringland on the 1st!
