Cringleford hit Hellesdon for six in a game which was much more finely balanced than the score-line suggests. But just how finely balanced is “finely balanced”. Let us stop there and define finely balanced. What is the difference in weight between Bratlett and Bird, is that finely balanced? Who has the worst accent at the club, Sharred or Howie, is that finely balanced? Who writes a better food review, Skipper or Limon, is that finely balanced? Who has the best hairstyle, Fairman or Payne, is that finely balanced? Who speaks the best German, Fraser or Ollie, is that finely balanced? Who has the best WILF………..no, I ‘d better not go there!!! Who is the bigger Norwich fan, Jennings or Sanders, is that finely balanced? Who has the dodgiest knees between Dennis, Shaul and Woodsy, is that finely balanced?
What is the difference between Cringleford and Hellesdon, Kevin “I’m considering retirement” Taylor, is the answer and that is how finely balanced this encounter was. With over 25 players partaking in the game at some point and undoubtedly each man playing the part, the scales were tipped by one man, super sub Taylor!
As usual there was the obligatory team reshuffle enforced by injuries to Ecky and Pyno with Fairman succumbing to a nice Sunday Roast and Payne on the road, grateful that as his work season draws to a close the football season starts again, see what I mean by finely balanced. In came another one of Ecky’s ringers in the form of Phil Mortimer who pushed Mark Dennis hard for the coveted MOTM award.
From the whistle it was obvious that Hellesdon were no mugs, they knew how to play the ball about and they liked doing so and looked comfortable in possession. They played the ball out of defence every time and the two boys they had upfront were pacey and lively. Whatever happened to the fat b………. who played up front for some of the teams we met in Division Four! Both Cringleford and Hellesdon created chances in the first half with Mortimer coming close with several long range efforts and Birgani firing over from close range in a miss that even Shaul would have been proud of! It was not obvious where the breakthrough would come. It came in the unlikely form of Eddie the ref. After a lovely one two with Mortimer, Sharred raced clear and as he cut back from the by-line an outstretched hand blocked the ball’s progress. Eddie had no hesitation and pointed to the spot much to the consternation of the opposition. Was this a finely balanced decision? No, it was a clear cut handball, inside the box, which under Rule 42b constitutes a penalty. Mortimer stepped up and hammered the ball in the top corner.
Howie and Sanders protected the back four well as they tussled to gain control of the midfield battle and the game turned around one-nil to Cringleford.
The first ten minutes of the second half was tough as Cringleford started to gain control of the game, Beggs and Mortimer were lively upfront and Birgani and Sharred probed down the wings. Ecky running the show from the side-lines showed no signs of palpitations as he remained calm and made the switch that was to turn the game, off came Beggs who had played superbly upfront and in a Pynoesque role, had chased everything.
It took Taylor just five minutes to make his mark, as he received the ball on the edge of the box he turned his man and curled a beautiful left foot shot around the keeper into the corner of the net. Cringleford had the cushion they needed and Taylor had the goal he needed to redeem his confidence following his woefully bad penalty miss in the final that nearly cost Cringleford the cup and whilst we would have all said, “don’t worry, it doesn’t matter”, we would have all blamed him for the rest of our lives and turned the other way and ignored him if we saw him in Waitrose!
Five minutes later and deadly Kevin and my best mate now (not the pariah in Waitrose) popped up in the box. Following a poor defence clearance that spun in the air, his determination was so great he barged the on rushing Howie out of the way and nodded the ball in the back of the net out jumping a clutch of defenders (is that the technical term for a group of defenders or should it be gaggle??). Howie commented, well actually I am not sure what Howie commented as I could not understand his accent!
Ten minutes later Birgani got in on the act. As he was played in on the edge of the box, he beat two players and then cleverly chipped the keeper. By now the Hellesdon heads were well and truly down and scoring more would be easy. Well so Shaul thought until he tamely shot into the keepers arms following a defensive error. It would be an interesting race between Ian and Phil to see who is last to score for the club if either of them ever got close.
Taylor hit his hat-trick in style as he scored a carbon copy of his first goal. He cleverly cut the ball back on his left and curled the ball past the keeper. Whilst he didn’t get to keep the match ball he did buy all the beers down the pub and when asked he said “What talk of retirement?”.
There was still time for Cringleford to make it six when Dennis powered home a free-header into the top corner following a peach of a corner from Beggs. In fact it was such a free header that it would have been easier to miss and what a totally pointless goal anyway, we were already five nil up and now they will be really gunning for us next week when we meet them in the Vets Cup. Jealous…..who?
Yet again Cringleford had overcome strong opposition and won a tough game to go top of the League. Thinking we must now have the best goal difference in all ten leagues I decided to check, as I wanted to put this in my report. Imagine my disappointment when I saw that Brantham Athletic had beaten Felixstowe Harpers 15 – 0, now I bet that wasn’t a finely balanced game, or was it?!
